Another thing that confuses me...

It is very easy to idealize ministry in other places. Especially other places where the needs are so much greater (the inner city and Africa for example). We get frustrated with the people around us and want to go where the people really need us and somehow deserve our help unlike these ungreatful sinners all around us in our current location (anybody's current location and I'm not specifically talking about anybody in Mount Vernon).

Well, I read an article in last weeks Newsweek called "The Lessons Tulia Teaches." (December 19th, pg.44) Tulia is a town in Texas that had a big scandal because the local sherriff wrongly arrested 47 African Americans on drug charges and they all went to jail. Luckily people stood up for justice and the people were released from prison. One of the people who stood up for justice was a local pastor and it cost him his job. Listen to what he had to say "'I had always believed the truth shall set you free,' said Bean. 'In the end...it took a misrepresentation of the facts to get these people justice.' By that, he means that in order to fuel the crusade, he and his allies had to make the victims appear more innocent than they were an the town more eveil than it actually is."

I know the people I live with in the West End arefar from innocent. They have done plenty of stuff to get them in the messes they are in. That's why I want to go to Africa or the inner city where it's not there fault and the people deserve help. What I realize is that whever I go (and I don't want to leave Mount Vernon) I'm not going to find people who are innocent, who really deserve my help.

I heard a lot about that guy in California who just got executed. He was made out to be a saint. Even if he wasn't guilty of the specific murders he was charged with, the gang he started was responsible for hundreds, if not thousands of murders. He was far from innocent.

So what's my point in all of this? We are not called to help the innocent, cause there are none. We are called to get involved in people's lives who are messy and really don't deserve our help. We are called to stand up for the guy on death row, not because he is innocent, but because he was made in the image of God and though the image is distorted, we want to see it redeemed. We are called to love our neighbor who is grumpy and hates us, not because he deserves it, but because God loves him as much as he loves us. We are called to get involved in lives that are so completely messy by their own creation, not because they deserve it either, but because that is the way of the Word who became flesh.

When it comes down to it, I'm not innocent and I don't deserve God grace. Who am I to be the one who keeps God's grace from another. We need to stop looking for the innocent or the deserving to help. We just need to help those who need help.

Church

So today in our church service we had 19 people. The fewest amount of people we've had in a long time, but we knew it would be that small with the holidays and such. But everyone there was like family, all committed Christ followers. I didn't care we were so small, instead we adapted and did things that we can't do when we have a large crowd. I felt like we worshiped this morning. I felt like we were who we were suppossed to be as the people of God in the West End of Mount Vernon.

Yet on Sundays when we have lots of people (lots for us is 50-60) and non Christ followers present we do things different. We're not so bold to do things that the people of God do. For enstance today we gathered in a circle with held hands and people prayed as they felt led. If we had visitors there I would have felt reluctant to do some of that or other simular stuff at the risk of making them feel uncomfortable.

So my point in all of this is that I worry that I let visitors, especially the non Christian ones, dictate how we practice being the people of God. It causes me so much confusion because we all have such a strong desire to reach out into the lost world, but in doing that we have this tendency to lose sight of who we are to be as the people of God. Another example: a few weeks ago a neighbor came to church with us and during my "pastoral prayer" I was tempted to not be so radical or bold so I wouldn't make her think we were too radical in our faith. I shook off the temptation and prayed the way I needed to, but still the temptation was there. Reaching out to the world around us in part of what we need to be as the people of God, but it is not supposed to form who we are as the people of God. I'm confused.

Persecuted Church

I'm preaching on the Persecuted Church this Sunday. I got to spend about an hour working on it at the library this morning, but then I had to go home to watch Lucy. When Mandy got to school after I started watching her she called to say her Parent/Teacher conferences were starting an hour later than she thought so I could bring Lucy to her at school and I could spend more time at the library.

So when I made it back to the library I saw a student there who I knew spent the last two summers in an undiscosed country being a missionary. So I went and asked him about the persecuted church in the country he went to and he told me a ton, enough to make you cry on one hand and enough to make you beam with pride for our brothers and sisters in Christ
who are being faithful witnesses in very tough, to say the least, times.

As he was telling me his stories, I heard this guy talking behind me, and I thought that couldn't be Fletcher Tink. I turned around and sure enough it was. He's one of the top guys in the Nazarene church when it comes to Compassionate ministries. I introduced myself and told him what we are going to do Sunday and asked me if he could talk to me about the persecuted church and boy did he ever and I was left with the same impression I got from the student.

I say all of this not to point out how cool it was that God made things work in such a way that I got to hear two first hand accounts of the persecuted church. I say all of that because I think God wants us praying for the persecuted church. God didn't say I think I'll do something really cool for Kevin today, I think He said, "His brothers and sisters are being persecuted and he needs to hear about it so at the very least He can battle with them in prayer." Pray for the persecuted church today in these ways:
1. In the persecution they may hold firm.
2. Pray for the families left behind
3. When leaders are martyred, that Godly leaders will rise in their place.

Traditional church

With all of the talk of how bad the traditional church is (and a lot of it is justified) by a lot of my friends in the blog world I thought I needed to post something.
I went to my district office yesterday to drop some stuff off. When I pulled up the District Superintendents wife saw me and ran outside. She said you go in and take care of business while I sit in the car with Lucy. It was raining and cold and she didn't want me to have to take her out in that weather. She is so kind.
I go inside and my DS was there and he came out of his office to talk to me. He was so encouraging to me and our church. He kept telling me it is going to take all kinds of different churches doing all different kinds of things. He believes in me and our church.
Granted we aren't a radicaly different church than most, we probably look more traditional than I would like to admit at times, but he is encouraging us to be who we need to be, who God is calling us to be.
I like my DS a lot. Mandy and I call him P Dubya (that's short for Pastor Wilson). Sure he sees the church through different lenses than I do, but he allows me to keep using my lenses. On top of that Him and his wife love me and my family.

Some more thoughts

-I'm getting really good at praying out loud during church. I think today's was one of my best. I feel like Jesus words in the Sermon on the Mount about praying out loud were directed towards me. I don't know how to fix it. Maybe pray more in my closet at home would be a start.
-I just read "Blue Like Jazz." Great book!
-My wife and my mom both read "Wild at Heart" and told me to read it, so I read the first three chapters and they asked what I thought and I told them i wanted a beer. I have the same thoughts after reading Blue Like Jazz. I don't drink, never had a beer before, yet these so called Christian books are corupting me. Don't worry, I have no plans to put down a cold one.
-So we had a guest speaker in church today. He asked us to open our Bibles with him and I realized I left mine on stage. I felt like a bad pastor at that moment, but then I looked behind me and saw Joe Noonen didn't have his and I looked in front of me and saw Alex Varughese didn't have his. But this little girl who has only been to church like three times had hers. She gave me a bit of hope today and not just because she had a Bible.
-Our church is having a Halloween outreach that I'm pumped about. These girls moved into our neighborhood for their senior year to be more involved in the neighborhood (cool enough in itself) and they are turning their back yard into the coolest Halloween stop in the neighborhood: smores, dunking for apples, lots of candy, games and other stuff. They are going to be light on a dark night. Though Halloween is already one of my favorite holidays of the year. What other holiday gets the whole neighborhood out of their houses doing something together? I wish we had halloween every month.
-Our church got Mandy and I a gift certificate to the Buxton Inn in Grandville. I love our church. Our church is a little unorganized and weird at times (it takes after me), but I love it so much. I wouldn't trade that group of people for anything.
-Blue Like Jazz has this story about a confessional booth that is so wonderful, that one story is worth the price of the book in my opinion.
-I hope I'm not trying to be trendy.

weird emotions

Well i found out yesterday that the building we were looking at buying for our church sold to someone else. Then I read about a church building a coffee shop and how my friend wasn't very happy about it. Then I read about the earthquake in Pakistan.

It makes me glad we didn't buy the building. But are we doing anything about the people in Pakistan now that we have funds to spare? I'm a little sick to my stomach and at the same time I'm ready to go my warm bed and go to sleep and forget about everything. Guilt is stupid, it just makes you send in a check and then forget all about it. I want a different lifestyle where guilt isn't a factor cause I'm living different. I can't even describe it right now. Cause you know next week there will be a another disaster and another check to write to avoid the guilt, but I want to live differently, to love differently, to already be living with empty pockets. At least I think I do. Guide us Father.

Some sorta random thoughts...

-Screw you down syndrome. You will not steal our joy.
-I read a study yesterday that said 80% of parents who found out their child had downs during their pregnancy had an abortion during the 1990’s at a certain hospital in Boston. That makes me cry.
-I realized this past weekend I won’t be able to beat up everybody who causes Lucy problems in life. For starters I’m nearly a pacifist, but the real reason is that I live in another Kingdom and I have to show that Kingdom to Lucy.
-I’m not really worried that much about what people will do to Lucy, I’m more worried about what they won’t do (i.e. invite her to sleepovers, giver her a chance, be her friend).
-Who is Iron and Wine?
-Lucy’s eyes penetrate my soul.
-I cry the most when I read articles or books that tell the story of parents finding out their child has downs shortly after birth. It just brings back so many emotions.
-Lucy means “bearer of light,” we couldn’t have picked a more perfect name for her.
-Can you believe Mike Redcay got married? I’m so happy for him, I like him so much!
-We live in reality and we are well aware of reality. Yet we live in hope and are full of hope.
-God is good.
-Sometimes I forget that Lucy has downs.
-downs does not define Lucy, nor does it define our family. (yet that seems to be all that I talk about.)
-When I dreams about Lucy’s future I dream that she becomes a dancer.
-Screw you down syndrome. You will not steal our joy.

Emergent?

I’m not a big fan of labels anymore. I used to be a big fan of the word emergent, as in the emergent church. But this weekend I went to a conference and I asked this church planter who was leading a seminar what he thought about the emergent church and he responded by talking about Willow Creek and Saddleback. Then my professor in class tonight was talking about a church she visited that billed itself as emergent all over it’s website, but in all reality it was a contemporary church that just happened to use art in its services.

I used to want to take our church down the road of the emergent church, not any more. I think there is something much deeper and radical we are called to.

Almost boy

So I just opened my back door to let my dog out. As he goes out he sees a squirrel who wasn’t paying too much attention to anything sitting on our back patio. So Hank, my dog, proceeds to chasing the squirrel. The squirrel jumps on to our chain link fence and runs along the top of it as Hank chases along side of it trying to grab him as they both run. The squirrel fell to Hanks side of the fence though not falling off the fence and Hank nearly got him, but then the squirrel got to the top again and kept running. As the squirrel ran along the top again it fell to the other side of the fence, but instead of just jumping to the ground and safety it jumps to the top of the fence and then verily jumps over Hank, who was jumping as well, to a large tree. It then went high into the tree to safety. Better luck next time Hank, it was a valiant effort!

Good Stuff

Jen Leonard wrote this on her blog:
God’s love is a mystery. It is spoken of in scripture as unfathomable, too wide and deep for us to understand. In Sunday School and Sunday Sermons, I was taught all about the richness of the love of God. About a creator God who made a covenant with His people, about a man named Jesus, the Son of God, who died on the cross for the sins of the world, the sins of His people. I was taught that His love was all I ever would need. That His love would change my life. It all seemed very cut and dry to me. God loved me so much and unconditionally that He sent His only Son to die for me. And that was the ultimate definition of love. But it does not seem all that simple to me anymore. Not so cut and dry. God’s love has become this unfathomable mystery to me.
But as of late this mystery has been being revealed to me in the beauty of community. A covenant love expressed in togetherness. In the last year of life I have experienced the love God expressed . . .
In the beauty of community.In following Jesus together in this life.In the acceptance of who we are as individuals.In the encouragement to be who we are in the body.In the freedom to broken . . . to be vulnerable . . . to simply be.In the knowledge that we create a safe place for each other.In the faith found in the hopelessness.In the perseverance in the midst of doubt and confusion and hurt.In the prayers we offer on each others behalf.In the laying of hands and the faith behind it.In the breaking of bread and passing of the cup.In the shared meals and laughter.In simply being present with each other.In the building of a history together.In the conversations and discussions that move us forward.In the moments where truth is spoken.In the family that has been formed by the blood.
Community has become one of God’s greatest expressions of His love to me. God’s love is present to me in the midst of my life because His community is present to me. God’s love is present and real to us, because we are real and present to each other.
A covenant love expressed in togetherness.

...in bed.

Me and Johnny Bravo went out to lunch today. We went to Hunan Garden and it was a most wonderful time, I think John's the best. Well when the fortune cookies came we said we'd say "in bed" directly after the end of the fortune. Here were the fortune's and you can add "in bed" for yourself at the end of each one.
-There are 365 days in a year, may all 365 of your dreams come true...
-To love what you do and feel that it matters, how could anything be more fun...

Good day...

-Ran in a 5k and did it under my goal. I ran it in about 31:20 (set your goals low enough...)
-Rode an escalator with a 13 year old boy today who had never ridden an escalator before.
-Ate lunch with that same boy at the Hard Rock Cafe in Cleveland and had a wonderful experience. While we were sitting waiting for our food the manager brought out someone else's food, but I thought it was ours and told the boy that so we both turned to look. The manager saw us look and she acted like it was ours and basically said just kidding and walked on by. When she came back again the boy I was with, in a joking manner, said "where's our food?" I was suprised he said it cause he is shy, but I think the managers good attitude opened him up to it. She looked at him and said, "come on" and took him back to the kitchen where she told him to tell the chef "to hurry up with my food or your fired!" He ended up being able to see the whole kitchen and help finish our meals. He then got to help bring them out to the table. What an unexpected joy he got today and what a one did I get watching him get it. The blessings of life!!!

Two Good Movies...

Mandy went out and rented us some movies to watch this weekend and I wasn't impressed with the titles she brought home: Because of Winn Dixie and Finding Neverland. I thought couldn't she get an action flick or possibly a commedy, but no, she brings home those two. But they turned out to be wonderful movies with beautiful stories that just warm your heart and make you want to dream and then live out your dreams.

The Kingdom of God

Is it now? Is it not yet? Is it both? This Kingdom of God thing intrigues me and leaves me hungering for what it may be both in the future, but also now in my present and in the world all around me.

In what is now my favorite blog, Chris Marshall talks an awful lot about it in ways that make me hunger to see it now, to participate in it now, and to invite others to join me in it.

I think in my preaching I'll be focusing on the Kingdom for a while, who knows? Two passages that have been on my mind this last day our Luke 10:8-9 ("When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is set before you. Heal the sick who are there and tell them, 'The kingdom of God is near you.'") and Luke 17:20-21 (Once, having been asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, "The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, 'Her it is,' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you.")

Any thoughts on the Kingdom of God in general or as found in those passages in specific?

The hurricane

Just a guess, but I think what we are seeing in New Orleans right now might change the way America sees and treats our inner cities for years to come. On one hand we might see what is going on and build the wall between suburbia and inner city even higher. On the other hand we might realize that we need to do something about the conditions of our inner cities that breed things like we see on CNN. I don't expect the later to take place, but we're Kingdom people who live with hope and pray "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, in our inner cities as it is in Heaven."

a long year ahead

I need to preface this by saying how lucky I am to be a stay at home dad, a church planter, husband of a beautiful wife, and a seminary student on a full ride scholarship. I am blessed beyond what I can imagine with all that in my life. Actually I was going to complain about how I don't know how I'll be able to do any of that well with while having to do all of it. But I'm not going to complain cause I have absolutely no room, I am truly blessed.

But if you think about it say a prayer for me sometime. Thanks!

This is me and Joe Noonen before the ordination service. After the GS ordains you, you get to select a mentor to pray a prayer of blessing for you. I chose Joe. 

Standing Ovation

Well Monday night went better than expected in some ways, worse in others, and wonderful overall. I practiced a ton for my song cause I was so nervous but when I got up there it was if I never practiced. I was off pitch, tune, tempo, and everything else I could be off on, but everyone was dying laughing. When I finished everyone gave me an instantaneous standing ovation for my pastor's report. Here's a written copy:

In the spirit of John and Charles Wesley, who wrote hymns to the tunes of the popular songs of their day, I rewrote a popular song of our day for my pastor’s report. And in the spirit of many a men who have no singing ability, I now sing for you my pastor’s report.

We got preachers; we got teachers;
Some singers and hand wavers
An’ we got leaders; we got servers
An’ we got, friendly hand shakers
And the college kids prayer walk our neighborhood
Mm, mm, mmm… I love our church

We got saints; we got seekers
Creative types and dreamers
An’ we got front row sitters, and plenty in the back
Encouragers and those who comfort
And we all talk about how God’s been good
Mm, mm, mmm… I love our church

I love our church
It’s my kind of place
Just walk in through the front door,
Puts a big smile on my face.
It ain’t too far, we come as we are
Mm mm mmm I love our church

Seriously now, it has been a good year for us. As you can tell from the song I really felt in this last year we have come into our own as a church and it has been great to see God continually work in our midst. God has been more than good to us and we praise His Holy name!

Now all I have to live with is everybody giving me complements, well most people tell me how awful it was in a way that I think is suppossed to be a compliment. It was really fun and I'm glad I did it. You only get to live once, so you might as well have fun living it. And I and I think most others there that night had a lot of fun.

Soon to be Ordained

I get ordained this Tuesday night. In all of the events of the past month I more or less forgot about this coming up and the significance of the event. But it is finally here and my favorite GS, Jerry Porter, will be ordaining me.

The ordination service is in the midst of this thing we Nazarenes like to call district assembly. It's not as bad as it sounds. One of the things that goes on during district assembly, besides the ordination service, is the pastor's reports. Each lead pastor of a church has to give a 2 min. or less report to the assembly on how your church did in the last year. My report was scheduled to be given Wednesday morning, read after I'm ordained, so I decided to be creative for my report and write a song for it.

Well we had to turn in a copy of our reports in a few weeks ago to the district superintendent who for some reason really liked all the new start pastors reports (five of us including me) and asked us all to give our reports during the opening service of assembly Monday night, read before I'm ordained. This is a big service mind you and I'm going to sing my report and I don't sing good at all. Gulp! I'm so nervous.

For those of you who want to know, I rewrote Toby Keith's "I love this bar" and renamed it "I love our church." It should be an interesting couple of nights this week to say the least.

anticlimatic

The genetic doctor visit today was very anticlimatic. I guess we were hopping for them to tell us how serious or how not serious her case was and things like what her IQ will be. But they didn't tell us much of anything, in fact they hardly looked at her. But it was still a good experience, they were all real nice and very helpful. The only hard part was when they showed us a picture of her chromosones and we saw three of them on the 21st set. I think it made it kind of real right then or something cause I wanted to cry when I saw them. Thanks for all your prayers today!

Poor Theology and our theology

One of the interesting things that comes with having a child born with down syndrome is all of the poor theology that you hear from people as they comfort you. The best being a form of "God only gives kids with down syndrome to parents He can trust." I'm not saying I mind hearing it and I appreciate the affirmation we have received from so many people in that form, but deep down inside I know it's not true. For starters I'm sure there are plenty of people ahead of me that I would trust with Lucy (not that I would let anyone else have her, she's our's and no one can have her!). But in all reality plenty of bad parents have had kids with down syndrome and the kids have suffered for it. So I don't buy into that theology, though I still appreciate what I know people mean when they say it (so if you have said that to us and our reading this, don't worry about it, we know what you meant and thank you for it). People have been very kind to us in word and deed over these past two weeks and we are so greatful to them all.

Lucy's down syndrome isn't a result of God. It is a result of the fall and of sin. We live in a broken world and bad things happen. God didn't give us a child with down syndrome. God gave us a child who happens to have suffered some of the effects of the fall. When her cells first started to divide they made some mistakes that left her with an extra chromosone on her twenty first set. Thus she has down syndrome: not from God, but because the fall has affected every part of us, even down to how our cells divide at conseption.

So where is the hope? Our God works all things for the good for those who love and serve Him! That's the theology Mandy and I are resting in today. Not in a God who gives us a child with down syndrome, but in a God who will work wonders we can't even imagine or even ask for in a child who suffers, in a more visible way than most, from the fall. And He already has! He is a good God and we praise Him for His faithfullness to our family!

We see the eye and hearts doctors this week, please pray for her eyes and hearts. That her eyes may be 20/20 (or whatever new born eyes need to be) and that she may see with the eyes of God as she lives. That her heart may be perfectly healthy and that she would have the heart of God for the world around her.

P. Dubya

My DS and his wife stopped by yesterday. I call him Pastor Wilson and Mandy has shortened it to P. Dubya. He said he felt like he had a word of the Lord for us that he received last Wednesday during our district monthly day of prayer. He said he felt like God gave him three promises for us (this being before Lucy was even diagnosed though he told us after):

1. Lucy will be a big blessing to us and others.
2. Lucy will be a big benefit to our ministry.
3. Mandy and I will understand and experience God's faithfulness like few others do because of Lucy.

I think we'll hold on to those right now. Thanks P. Dubya! But more importantly thank you Jesus!

Welcome to blogging...

To see Lucy's blog go to www.beautifullucy.blogspot.com That is where daddy will place most of the updates about her, as well as a bunch of pictures. We get the genetic tests back Monday or Tuesday, we need some people to hold our arms up in prayer for us these next two days. We went to church today and everyone gathered around us in prayer. Jamie Parry led the prayer and it was beautiful as I cried the entire time.

I don't like baths! 

Update

Tomorrow, Mandy and I will take Lucy to a Children's hospital branch in Westerville for blood work to determine genetic stuff that might tell us if she has downs or not. We'll probably get a call Monday with preliminary results. Pray for us.

I think today at our doctor visit we were both hoping that the doctor would tell us that she didn't know what the other doctor was talking about, that Lucy didn't have any signs of anything, but she said Lucy did. But some of the stuff she said were signs the previous doctor said weren't. We don't think anybody knows anything right now except that she is our wonderful precious baby. It shows me how much this guy named Chris Marshall knows, check out his blog here that he posted on Tuesday. I think he knows what he's talking about.

The present is a wonderful gift. Thank you Jesus!

Isn't she beautiful? 

one happy family! 

You know what?

I'm pumped. Mandy and I have gotten to hold Lucy all day to day. She is a gift from God! I haven't cried since I've been able to hold her on a regular basis. When she was in that awful incubator all I could think about was her future and I cried and cried. But now when I hold her I live in the present with her and I am so greatful. I honestly have a completely different attitude than I had in the early morning hours today. I'm not sad and I am not really even scared anymore. I haven't forced myself to be like this, I just think God has gifted me with the right perspective for right now just like he has gifted us with the most wonderful little girl. There God goes giving us immeasurable more than all we could ask or even imagine.

Update on Lucy Kay

Dear Friends and Family,
Well the doctor came in this morning and said he couldn’t confirm a diagnosis of downs syndrome. She has some of the symptoms, but not nearly all of them. What they said seemed like a sure thing last night now isn’t. He still thinks she might have some kind of syndrome, possibly even a mild form of down syndrome, but only genetic testing will be able to tell for sure what kind it is.
The real good news is that both she and Mandy are healthy. The doctors said both should be able to come home Tuesday. We will need to eventually take her to Children’s in Columbus, but the doctor said there is no real rush. Thank you for your prayers, they are making a difference. We’ll keep you all updated…
Amazed at the wonderful gifts God gives,
Kevin, Mandy, and Lucy

Lucy Kay Peterson

Dear Friends and Family,
Mandy and I would like to announce the arrival of Lucy Kay Peterson. She came at 11:04 PM on Sunday June 12th. She weighs 7lbs. 3 ounces and is 20 inches long. Labor was quick but tough. She had her cord wrapped around her neck and they had to use the forceps to get her out quickly. We are thrilled with the precious gift God has given us and the world.
We do have a prayer request. They are 99% sure that she has down syndrome. To be honest we are very scared right now. Would you all please take a moment and say a prayer for our beautiful daughter and for her parents. Thank you! We will keep you all updated…
Blessings,
Kevin, Mandy, and Lucy

our last meal

Mandy and I went to Mansfield for our last "date" before the arrival of Lucy. We had a nice meal, then ice cream, then a relaxing ride home through Loudonvile. It's hard to belive that sometime in the next two weeks our lives will change forever. That doesn't mean we won't continue to go on dates, but things will be different.

refugee camps

I just got done talking with my mentor Joe Noonen. He just got back from a tiny country in West Africa where he and a eleven others from MVNU worked in refugee camps for two weeks. I think he needed to tell the stories of what they saw and I think I needed to hear the stories. What an awful and broken world we live in. But what an amazing God we serve who is constantly at work to restore this world with love and compassion. May we join with God in that work.

When you read this pray our friend Mark Knowles who is working with God in El Salvador.

July 19th, 2005

Unless something goes terribly wrong between now and July 19th, I should be getting ordained that night. They told me they will be recommending me to the District Assemply for Ordination. That's kind of weird now that I think about it. Now all that's left to do this crazy week is to write a sermon. love you all!!!

Interview over

Mandy made me look real good during the interview. They asked how she felt about being a pastor's wife and she gave this response that I wasn't expecting, but blew me and the board away. I wish she could have answered all the questions for me, she's good.

It was a real interview easy interview, but I'll find out the results tonight at dinner, which happens to be at the Alcove. I'll let you know...

My wife is cooler than I am: Her score

Ordination

Tomorrow, Friday June 3rd, Mandy and I go in for my ordination interview at 4:30 pm.

The #8 car 

Group Time

Every Tuesday for this last academic year I met in group time with Bill, Becky, Rich, Tom, Rob, Marcus, and Ken. It was for an academic requirement, but it turned into much more than that. Those seven have been a gift of God to me and will be people whom I always love and hold dear to my heart. Today was the last day we had to officially meet. We did the thing where we took time to affirm each other. I love those times. I love my group.

am i a looser?

The Bridge 

traveling buddies

Have you ever gone on a long road trip and found yourself following another car? I end up doing it on long trips; usually because they are going the same speed as I want to go and I have no cruise control. Also, because I figure any cops will get them before they get me. Sometimes I get kind of attached on trips when I follow a car for a long time and I say good bye when they pull off the freeway.

Today I had a ford ranger following me on my way to seminary. I think he was a traveling buddy (either that or the FBI who I think have been investigating me lately; see conspiracy theory). He even got off the same exit as me today, but went a different way soon after. I hope and pray my mysterious traveling buddy has a good day today.

Need a Vacation

In class today I realized Mandy and I need to get away this summer for a week. Of course Lucy will also be with us. I'm thinking the first week in August right now. Anybody have any cool ideas of a place that is no more than five hours away and is a fun place to go to. We like the outdoors, but with a kid we also want all the amenities of comfort we can get. We'll also be on a pretty tight budget. My friend Gary gave me the idea of the finger lakes in upstate New York. Post or email me any good ideas you may have. Thanks!!!

less than 4 1/2 weeks left! 

Does God care about poop stains?

So yesterday our toilet clogs up. So I find this old rusty snake in our basement that was left there from the previous owners to unclog our toilet with. Of course I can't get the stupid thing to work, but it did leave these ugly brown rust stains all over the toilet that looked like poop stains. Eventually I got the toilet unclogged with another device and kind of forgot about the stains until Mandy came home. She asked me about them and I told her that I couldn't find our toilet scrubber. She told me she didn't think they would come off even with a scrubber. And she was right, they didn't. So now we had a permanetly pooped stained toilet, which is never fun to have.

I felt pretty bad about that last night and this morning I woke up and tried to bleach them out. It wasn't working and I felt pretty bad. So I let some bleach soke in the toilet while I took a shower praying that the soaking would bring it out. Literally I was praying in the shower for that bleach to have extra special strength to bring the ugly stains out. But while I was praying it was as if God told me to go down to our friends at GR Smith's hardware store and ask them for advice. So I get out of the shower to find out the bleach didn't work and followed the good Lord's leading to talk to my friend Bill at GR Smith's. He showed me stuff that he thought might work, so I bought it and took it home to try it.

Sure enough it worked like magic and we now have the whitest toilet bowl we've had in a long time. God doesn't always make our bleach extra strong when we ask, some times He just tells us where to get better stuff. God cares about us more than we ever know, even about the poop stains that really get us down.

After all that I woke Mandy up, who was taking a nap on the couch, to show her the clean toilet. She was so proud she gave me a hug and a kiss. So not only did God brighten my day by giving me a clean toilet, He also got me a hug and a kiss from the most beautiful girl in town!

Not to be

Sad day for me today. I've talked about a church we wanted to buy in our neighborhood and I found out today that it got sold to another church. I've never particularly wanted it, well at least as much as the rest of the people in our church, but it seemed so logical. I just always felt like God was going to give it to us, but today I found out that is most likely not going to happen.

I've been through so many emotions today already. I first heard about it from a friend who goes to the church that we wanted to buy. I had to be happy for him cause his church needed to sell it quick so they could finish their new building project, yet I wanted to cry while putting a smile on my face. He wasn't positive the deal had gone through yet, so parts of me hoped the deal might fall through. But then I thought what a pompus ass I was being cause it was another church who was buying it. Then I worried about another church coming down to our neighborhood and the competition that would bring us. That led me to calling myself a lot worse words than ass.

I ended up having to leave the library where I was planning to get some work done and go pray at a few places. I had to go to the where the purchasing church currently meats at and pray for them and then to the church property that we wanted to buy and they are buying and pray for them again. There I saw no more 4-sale signs and I realized it was for real. I had to start planning in my mind how we would welcome this church to our neighborhood and how we could work together as brothers and sisters in Christ.

I also stopped by the Alternative Center and prayed for them. They are moving into the building where we currently meet. I'm pray that God will shine His light into that school through our church. And I pray they will still let us meet in their building after they move in.

I wrote the above as a confession. The Bible says it's good to confess our sins to one another. I also wrote it for the record. I want to read this again in five years and see in what ways God did cool things even through what I think is currently discouraging news. And that's the thing, I'm confident God is taking care of us even now.

I have so many more thoughts going through my mind right now, but I'll save you from them. Blessings on your day knowing that we serve a God who is able to do immeasurable more than all we could ask or even imagine.

ps. The new Narnia trailer is out at www.narnia.com it's good. Of course he's not safe, but he's good.

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

For all of my friends who remember Eric Frey. He is now the youth pastor at St. Pauls and might be on TV tomorrow night.
Nazarene ties to this week's Extreme Makeover: Home EditionKansas City—As reported in the April 8 edition of NCN News, Kansas City’s St. Paul’s Church of the Nazarene recently played a major supporting role in the production of an upcoming episode of ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Originally speculated to air May 15, the episode will air May 8. St. Paul’s Church, who provided use of their facilities to the ABC team, will hold a community watch-party for the show. According to St. Paul’s pastor Caleb Reynolds, the church will likely receive some attention in Home Makeover follow-up show How'd They Do That? set to air in May 9.
Reynolds said ABC approached the church asking to use their facilities to help with the production. “The back entrance to the church is a hundred yards or so from the house they renovated,” Reynolds said. “They blocked off the entire street between our lot and the job site so that construction crews could have dedicated use of the road.”
Initially, ABC had only asked for use of the church’s parking lot and back yard.
“We offered to let them eat in our gym and use our newly-renovated kitchen if it would be helpful,” stated Reynolds. “They took us up on the offer, and during construction we served as the dining hall for 300-400 volunteer construction workers, cast, crew, and contractors that were contributing their efforts to the show. Many of the volunteer workers are from the Kansas City metro area, so we felt it was very important for us to be able to make contact with them in a setting like this.
“We have been praying that God would show us ways that we can connect the resources of our church to the needs of our community. I think this opportunity was God answering those prayers.”
Reynolds called the experience rewarding and said that the ABC team was extremely appreciative of using the church facilities.
Both shows air at 8 p.m. Eastern time on their respective nights.

Israel

I found out two nights ago that I might have the oppurtonity to go to the Holy Lands for 10 days next March. It would be with Seminary and it would be my last class there. I think it would only cost me about 1000 dollars, normally 2200, but I'd get a special deal cause of the scholarship program I'm a part of. The only problem is the ten days away from Mandy and Lucy, oh yeah, and Hank. It's someplace I've wanted to go to for years, I hope it works out so I can go.

Do I look like Derek Webb?

If you follow the link in my previous post look at the picture of Derek Webb. Now imagine me minus 60 pounds, with a short hair cut, with a guitar, and singing my guts out. Do you think I look like Derek Webb in that picture?

Derek Webb

This morning I'm driven over to the Naz to use the library and I hear on WNZR that there giving away Derek Webb tickets for tomorrow night at Kenyon. So I go into the library where they have no radio, but I know there giving out four pair over the next 1/2 hour so I decide I'll call radomly to see if I get through. I call once and get through, but they weren't giving them away at the time. Ten minutes later I call back and it's busy, so I know they're giving them away at the moment so I call back again right away and I'm caller ten, I WIN!!! But I found out I called for Wayne Watson instead. But after I told them my crazy story they gave me Derek Webb tickets instead!!! So Mandy and I will be thinking about Trent Charles tomorrow evening while we are listening to the cool, yet convicting, Derek Webb at Gund Commons on the campus of Kenyon College. Now that's a good way to start the morning off.

For all my rowdy friends who are Derek Webb fans who would like to join us go here for more info.

hank 

Paid Clergy?

Next year when I get done with seminary will it be in the best interest of our church, and for me, for me to get a "real" job. The more and more I think about it I wonder why our church, or for that matter many churches, need a full time paid pastor. I sometimes wonder if our church would grow stronger if I did construction forty hours a week and then pastored on the side as a regular member of the church. Some would say I would then be overwhelmed with the work load, but what if I didn't take it on? What if we let the church be the church? Wouldn't the work load be just the same as any other church member? We need a new model of church. We need to see the Body of Christ fully alive and active.

20/5000 Eyesight

This morning two girls from the college, who are apart of our church, prayer walked part of the neighborhood with me. While we were walking one of the girls said something along the lines of “last week’s service was one of the best I was ever apart of. I felt like that was what was church is supposed to be about.”

I was floored after she said that cause I felt last week’s service was pretty average and my sermon was really weak. So I asked what was so good about it and she said, “God.”

I think I need to start opening my eyes so I can see God in our services. I’m so worried about the sermon, the music, the show, and making sure everybody is Ok that I forget to see God, who is there the whole time. Lord, forgive me.

Tray swap

For all my friends who remember switching trays with Treveca our senior year (and yes I'm still a bit bitter), they pulled it off again last night, but this time with Olivet. Olivet's trays our plain so it's not as cool as it was when we walked into the cafeteria and saw the big TNU across the trays.

It feels kind of good knowing that I was a part in a small way with a prank that was so good that it gets repeated. I'll have to not sound too arrogant when I tell our college kids this at church on Sunday.

Hi

Sorry I haven't really blogged in a while. I got frustrated with it for some reason that I can't put my finger on. A couple things of interest for you...
-Saw Mike Pape last weekend. I couldn't believe it when I saw him. Had a good conversation with him and he seems to be doing pretty well for himself. He got married, has a good job, and is building a new house. So for all my college friends who have been wondering what ever happened to Pape, now you know.
-Mandy and I took Hank to Mohican yesterday. Went on a long walk from the covered bridge to the dam and back again. Hank loved it, he couldn't stay out of the water, but luckily we had blankets to put across the back seat for the ride home. I like walks in the woods.
-I don't like two of my seminary classes this quarter. I'm very frustrated in them, yet a friend reminded me I might need to humble myself a bit so maybe I could learn something. With such a big head it is sometimes hard to learn what you need to learn.
-Less than two months tell Lucy is due to join us on the outside. I'm pretty pumped silly about that.
-We got some crazy college kids who are diving into our church. At least two are moving into the neighborhood for their senior year. A couple are graduating and sticking around with us. Others are prayer walking the neighborhood once a week. I was pretty curious about them at first, but I'm begining to see why God has brought us all together.
-I'm in the midst of a sermon series called what does it mean to be the people of God. So we're saved and happy and go to church once a week, but is that it? Are we any different than the rest of the world? If so, how?
-That's all for now. I love you all.

TV evangelist? Yep, that's me! 

I like taking pictures of myself 

I LOVE MY WIFE 

I love warm spring days, especially when I get to spend them with these people. 

The nursery is almost done, I can't wait for Lucy! 

My beautiful pregnant wife 

Narnia

The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe in theaters December 9th, 2005. I can't wait to take Lucy! She'll have all the books read (or at least read to her) by that time.

Oscar Romero

Oscar Romerso was martyred 25 years ago tomorrow (March 24, 1980). He was the archbishop of El Salvador and lived a truly remarkable life. He rose through the ranks of the Catholic hiearchcy mostly because he was safe and El Salvador was going through some pretty rough times and safe seemed best for the church. But once he was promoted to Archbishop he had, what I would call in a way, a conversion experience. He started sticking up for the poor and oppressed and no longer tried to just keep things calm. One of my favorite lines from the movie "Romero" (which I higly recomend to any and everyone) is when he tells a rich lady he will only baptize her kids with all the rest of the kids, including the poor kids, and she gets ticked off because she realizes he is standing with the poor in solidarity and she says "do you know what that will cost us?" I'm not sure if he knew what it would cost her, but he knew what it would cost him... his life.

Thinking on his life, makes me think about mine. Am I just playing it safe, or would I be willing to risk it all for the sake of the Gospel. I'm always playing it safe. I never want to offend anyone, or challenge anyone. I'm scared of leading our church to really being the people of God. You read about people such as Romero and then your read the Gospels and you see so clearly how you are just living a watered down faith.

I was reading an interview with Ron Sider in Christianity Today about his new book where he rips the church in America. He said he wrote the book with tears in his eyes, but also with hope in his heart. I hope that's how I write this entry today.

Dusty

Dusty preached in Spring Revival today and boy did his message cut to the heart. He talked on Matthew 6:5-6, about how we are suppossed to pray. He said the reason the hypocrites prayed in public was only because they thought that was the only place they could get a reward for their prayer. They lost faith in a God who actually heard their prayers.

I blog as a way to journal. I'm just not disciplined enough to journal in a book that no one reads but God and myself. So I journal where everybody can read it and hopefully think that I am funny, cool, thoughtful, and a wonderful person and that's what motivates me.

I over analize things too much at times, but maybe I need too?

Matthew 16:18

And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.

Gates are defensive tools not offensive ones as Dr. May pointed out in class today. That makes me think...

NO MAS

Just finished my take home final for Greek. That means I'm finished with all my Biblical languages at seminary! This is so odd to say, but I think I'm glad I was required to take them. Hebrew was especially rewarding as I got to see some cool things that are taking place in the Bible that English could never bring out. But I am still glad I'm done with them.

Kingdom stuff

Sorry to post other people's stuff, but I've been reading this guy's blog lately and he talks about the Kingdom in ways and with language I'm not used to. He makes me think a lot, so I thought I would show you what I think about.

And so, I saw a vision. It just happened. Friends, we're at war, and its raging. Here's what I saw: "I was walking at night in a cemetery, I was alone, it was dark, it was cold and the stench of death was all around me. Cement gravestones, cracked tombs with vines growing intertwined all around them, there was no color, everything was in black and white. I was drawn to one particular gravestone in the shape of a cross, it was leaning over like someone had tripped over it. I was standing before it and I looked to the dark night sky and there were what seemed to be spirits of death soaring over me. They were flying in every direction, active in the night. Then I realized that I was no longer standing, but kneeling before this grave. And courage was welling up within me and I screamed into the night a cry of willingness. I looked around a 2nd time and I wasn't alone, in the distance I could many of you kneeling before similar stones crying out to the night. I saw Keck, I saw Bean, I saw Arlen, I saw Joe Long etc. etc. I saw as far as the eye could see saints crying into the darkness and it didn't seem so dark anymore. And then I awoke." We are all interconnected in this war, we need each other, we need to cry louder, we need to keep our swords at our sides, we need to bring the fight to the enemy with zero fear, we need to meet him, we must not back down, we will win this fight, but we must prepare ouselves and bring it everyday. We are never alone, never. Rain down your HOPE oh Lord, rain down your hope. I have come to realize that the enemy has been actively seeking to destroy the work that God has been doing through Ordinary Community Church. Seeking to steal, kill and destroy. Its not that he has infiltrated our camp, its that we moved into the same neighborhood. It is indistinguishable our territory from his. We are at close quarters and the stakes have never been higher for us. Well, I'm here tonight to say in the words of Doc Hollywood, "I'm your huckleberry". (thanks Keck)If you want a piece of my spiritual family than you can come through me. If you want deeper influence, then your going to have to take it from me personally. If you want what is not yours, then your going to fight for it. We walk in the power of the ressurrection and we fear you not. I'm going to sleep well tonight unless Abba wakes me up to pray and then I'll take my orders from Him. Whatever He commands I will do, I know no other way, He holds the words of life. When I awake in the morning, I will be back you slimy bastard. And come death or Kingdom Come in fullness, I will bring the fight to your doorstep. You see, my cries have been heard tonight and its in Him I trust. Remember the scene in Braveheart after Wallace's big speech in full warrior gear at the battle of Stirling. He turns to his inner circle and they say "Where are you going?" Wallace responds: "I'm going to pick a fight." Then they turn to each other and one says "Well . . . atleast we didn't get dressed up for nothing." Those words have never been so true.Friends, bring the fight to your particular context, and don't relent. I'll see you on the field.

another observation

Few people commented on what a large crowd we had at church Sunday (2nd biggest ever), but lots commented on the return of a family who returned to our church after not being there for a long time. They not only commented on it, but they loved on that family while they were there. They have a way of keeping things in perspective for me.

Words just aren't enough

This morning was such a wonderful church service. Words just aren't enough to explain how good it way. I started the service by telling everyone I'm not sure what to expect today except that God will be with us and that He is good. He was definitly with us and He was definitly good.

We had Amy Lewis bring a pottery wheel to church today to help us figure out what it means when the Bible always compares us to clay and God to our potter. Amy, who is pretty shy, thrived even though she told me later she was shaking the whole time (How do you make pottery when you're shaking?). People made comments throughout the demonstration bringing it home to real life. Some people were crying because it spoke to them so deeply.

I guess I talked a lot, but so did Amy, and so did a lot of other people in church. And through all of us talking I think we all heard God talking to us.

God is doing such a wonderful work in our church. We are definitly in for a fun ride.

Gifts

This week I had fun listening to and watching others in our church. One gave me a simply wonderful idea for something we could do as a church that has left my imagination running and the other did a simple task in a way that I thought was great and more than I could have asked for. It was a lot of fun this week celebrating with others the wonderful work God is doing in them.

Tomorrow in church we are having one of the artist of our church bring a pottery wheel to church and she is going to throw clay. We are gonna talk about how that all relates to our walk with Christ. Somebody told me she is pumped about the service and has even said, "I'm so excited that I get to be a part of the service." I think God is trying to tell me something through that quote.

Mandy's a hottie

This morning Mandy had on the cutest maternity clothes. She was wearing this pink button up shirt and you could see the form of her belly (now six months pregnant). She looked so beautiful that I didn't want her to leave. I never thought pregnant women were all that attractive until now.

I had fun 

our attempt at getting in the dispatch 

"The Gates" well some of them anyway. 

Spring Revival

Just saw a friend of mine in the caft. at MVNU. This friend, Dusty Lawson, is just one of those people who you look up to. He is an example to me in so many ways. He walks humbly with the Lord.

He told me he was preaching in Spring Revival this year, Thursday, March 10th to be exact. Spring Revival has always been special to me. Even though I'm not the biggest fan of having revival, spring revival at the Naz was always a powerful experience for me. I'll never ever forget my senior year during spring revival. It has a ton to do with who I am six years later.

I told Dusty I would pray for him every day. Would you take the time to pray for him as well. Not only for Dusty, but also for MVNU.

3am

Got in at 3am last night and I already find myself at Seminary with a whole day of classes ahead of me. Might skip Greek tonight, I'll see how I feel. The Gates were really cool. Had a real cool discusion on the way home in the car last night too.

Positions filled

Sean, Lacy, Caden (their one year old son), Mandy and I will be leaving tomorrow night for New York City!!! I feel so giddy. Who says once you grow up and start having kids and get real responsible jobs you can't take off and have fun once in a while?

NYC TRIP?

Watching the news tonight we saw a story about "the gates" in New York City's Central Park. It's a big, kinda weird, art instalation that goes throughout Central Park, which is huge. Mandy wants to go see it (I wouldn't mind either), but it gets taken down Feb. 27th which means the only free day we would have to go see it is this Monday. I figure leave about 10pm Sunday night, get there at sunrise, spend four hours in central park, get a piece of NYC pizza, and be home by 10pm Monday night.

I'd have to miss class Monday, which I think I can do, but we need at least one other person to drive with us to make it possible. It seems kind of crazy to do something this stupid at my mature age of 28, but you only live once. I figure if someone calls by Sunday morning it might be a sign that we should do this. Call 740 392 3197 if you are interested. I'll go out on a limb here and say that I really don't even have to know you.

There is a weird feeling going through my body right now... I think I feel like a kid again.

Isn't it great when you are late to class because you pull off the side of the road to record such wonderful milestones in the life of your car. May this car see this number again. 

Kingdom

Most of you are aware that I've been thinking about the Kingdom a lot lately. In church when it's testimony time I now ask if anyone has seen the Kingdom break into their lives lately. What does it mean to be citizens of the Kingdom, is a question I ask a lot lately. So when I find quotes about the Kingdom I pay attention. I really liked this quote I found on someone else's blog today.

We're all aware of the tension that we live in, the tension of the Kingdom, the Kingdom come but not in fullness...the already and the not yet. In the times when we long to see a practical manifestation of the rule and reign of God break into our lives, and yet don't see it, we're tempted to lean towards the side of the "not in its fullness" or the "not yet". My encouragement to you tonight is to lean towards the side of the Kingdom come, of the "already". Why not fall towards that? Dare to hope a bit. Give the Kingdom come the benefit of the doubt. Take a risk and pray "Your Kingdom come" with an air of expectation.

Good News

Felt Lucy do something (possibly kick?) for the first time tonight! Also, I only got two weeks left of Greek and then I'll be done with Biblical Languages at Seminary!

Hotel Rwanda

Saw Hotel Rwanda last night with Mandy on a date. Not sure it was a date flick, but almost appropriate on a date now that I think about it. Hundreds of thousands of people being killed in a country and nobody cares about it cause we're all too busy going on dates. Well that's one way to look at it I guess.

Good movie. I think everyone should see it. Yet I left not knowing what to think or do. Movies like that always leave me me wanting to change, but I struggled greatly with what my response is suppossed to be. God forbid my only response is to say that was a terrible thing that happened and I hope it never happens again. But what else can I say or do? Any ideas?

heartbeats

I went with Mandy to her monthly pregnancy doctor appointment today. When we got there the billing lady called us back to talk to her in her office. To make a long story short she told us that the new doctor in the office wasn’t approved by our insurance company yet, which won’t be a problem for us unless she is on call the day we have Lucy. If she delivers Lucy and she is still not approved by our insurance we get stuck with an out of network doctor bill which could run us hundreds of extra dollars. They told us there is a very good chance she’ll be approved by May and Mandy’s not due until the middle of June. They told us if we didn’t want to risk it we could go to another practice, but the nearest one is 40 minutes away and we couldn’t deliver at our local hospital. I was really mad to say the least. They just told us that’s the way it is and if you don’t like it leave, no working with us at all.

Then we go in for her checkup and I’m still pretty mad. The nurse pulled out the heartbeat finder thing and I realized I forgot we got to hear Lucy’s heartbeat again today. As I started hearing her heartbeat I realized I couldn’t enjoy it because I was still too angry. I realized I couldn’t hang on to my anger if I wanted to enjoy my baby’s heartbeat. I had to let it go. And I did let it go (at least for awhile anyway) and I enjoyed the little thumps of Lucy’s heart. I think I might have learned something today. I hope I learned something today.

Super Bowl Party

I'm not a big fan of the NFL anymore, but we had a SB party last night anyway. More or less just as an excuse to invite people over to get to know them better. It was nice hanging out with some people I don't know very well yet. I felt bad for my friend Jamie who had to watch his most favorite team get beat.

Good day

I didn't want to go to church yesterday. Yet I left church renewed and refreshed wanting more. Service was definitly not what I expected. Not sure if any one else experience what I did. I felt like I saw the Kingdom creeping in on us.

Sports

This whole having a kid thing has changed the way I think about a whole lot of things. Tonight I went to a Mount Vernon basketball game and watched them lose by a point. There were a couple of bad calls (I guess that is only my opinion) towards the end of the game and when I saw the refs leaving the court after the game I wished I was closer to them so I could tell them they sucked. I haven’t felt those kind of emotions in me in a long time and I wish I hadn’t felt them tonight. It was stupid; I wanted to tear down and humiliate another human being because I thought he made a couple of incorrect calls in a high school basketball game? Personally I don’t care if I ever go to another sports game again. It just brings the worst parts of me out.

Oh yeah, back to the kid thing. Chances are Lucy and any other kids we have will play sports of some kind. I can only imagine how bad my attitude would have been tonight if my kid was on the team. Actually I did talk to a Father of a kid on the team and he seemed a bit worse off than me. Why do we care so much about sports? How can I teach my kids not to care even if they do play? Luckily, Mandy and I have a few years to figure that stuff out.

Organized sports are stupid, nothing more than one person trying to dominate another to show that they are somehow better than another. Well, at least that is the way they are played right now in the world I see.

sermon writing

Why is it so stinking hard? I feel like I'm trying to birth a baby. It's always fun when the idea gets planted, and once you realize where your going with it you get excited. But over time you get bloated and you swell up and wonder how is this baby gonna fit through that hole. The actual writing of it is like labor to me, so painfull! But actually giving the sermon is sorta like when you get to hold the baby, but the true joy comes in watching it grow to maturity as people leave to live it out.

I'm in the midst of a painfull labor write now.

May I be the first to introduce you to...

...Lucy Kay. The nurse seemed pretty sure that she is a girl today. I guess I better get the guns out. You keep your boys away from her Stetler!

our baby waving  

our baby... 

Narnia

Just had a discussion with a friend about Narnia. We thought it would be a wonderfull idea to have a Narnia book club. We would gather once a week and talk about one of the books. It would take us seven weeks for us to get through all of the books. I'm thinking we could possibly pull it off in July and August of this year. My mouth is watering, anybody interested?

"Safe? Of course he is not safe, but he is good."

Thought on parenthood

Since in about 21 weeks I'll be a dad, thoughts on parenthood in books that I read jump out at me. I liked this one from A Work of Heart by Reggie McNeil:

"Common wisdom maintains that children are given to parents so parents can instruct them. The truth is, God gives children to parents to teach the parents some things. Things like patience, and discipline, and self-sacrafice, and responsibility, and mercy, and hope. Also exquisite joy and celebration, and the meaning of legacy, and a glimpse of eternity."

snow shovels

I was getting out of the shower this morning and I heard someone knocking on the door so I threw some clothes on real quick. I saw it was a couple of kids from the neighborhood who had snow shovels in hand. I thought to myself that all I had was a bunch of quarters and I hope they'll take that. I opened the door and the two kids, whom I know pretty well, asked if they could shovel my sidewalk for free. I said, "No, I can pay you." But they said that they wanted to do it for free, so I let them.

I then walked inside and almost started to cry. These kids weren't youth group kids doing a community service project, they were two kids who wanted to do something nice for me and Mandy. I remember having a conversation about a year ago with one of the kids teacher. I asked her if she knew this kid and she shivered and basically said how rotten this kid was. I was glad I got to see how good he is this morning.

I feel like I get to see glimpses of the Kingdom every once in a while, and I feel like this morning was one of them. I think maybe he has seen the Kingdom in the life of our church, even though he isn't really a part of our church, and he likes it and maybe he is trying to imitate life in the Kingdom. I think it is time he meets the King. Pray for Marcus.

MY MOM

The year is still young, but I think I pulled into the lead for worst son of the year award. Last Friday (1/14) was my moms birthday and I completely forgot all about it. And it wasn't just any birthday for her, it was her 60th b-day (I hope I don't get into more trouble for sharing her age on the internet).

Mom,
I just want to let you know that I think you are the best mom anyone could ever ask for. You have meant so much to me throughout my life and you have never failed to be there for me when I needed you. You even put up with me during those times when I was trying to figure who I was and what I really believed. You gave me space to grow, but also the comfort of knowing if I ever fell you would be there to help me get back up again.

What is really cool about you is that you are not the same mom you were when I was a kid. I've gotten to watch you grow throughout my life. You were 32 when I was born and most people are pretty much set in their ways by that age and maybe you were for all I know now. But God got ahold of you in some pretty powerful ways over these last 28 years and I've seen you let Him change you. That has been a powerful lesson to me as I try to always be open to a new work of God in my life.

Knowing that I am going to be a dad here in about five months leads me to pray that Mandy and I can be as good as parents as you and dad were for me and sis. You two are a powerful example for us. You guys weren't always perfect, but you admitted when you were wrong and always tried to be better, which wasn't always the case in my trying to be a good son. I look forward to our children (well one for now anyway) being able to learn from you and dad what I have learned over my life.

I'm exited knowing that our child will get to continue to watch you grow as they grow up. You have a faith that is so active and God uses that to continally make you new. St. Paul talks about people following him as He follows Christ. I want you to know that I follow you as you follow Christ. I am who I am today in such a great measure because of you and your faithfullness in following Christ.

I love you mom and I always will. Thanks for being my mom!

your favorite son,
kevin (b-bub)

hmm

odd week, but I definitely saw God's hand involved in it all

Walmart

My new year's resolution for this year is to not shop at Walmart this year. I hope I'm not relying on false info about how the company does things, but at the least they don't seem the best for our country. So I decided to put my wallet where my mouth is at for at least the next year. Though I still have to go there and exchange something from the holidays.

I love my wife! 

Holy Clothes

My friends from college, and a few sense, have always made fun of me cause of all the holes that are in my clothes. Usually just in my socks or in the armpits of my t-shirts, though occasionally elsewhere. I liked to joke that my clothes were holy. Well this weekend I had a small jar of annointing oil in my pants that I forgot to take out of them before Mandy did the wash. We found the jar in dryer and it was empty. All the clothes smelled like the oil, and a few had some oil stains. But on the bright side, my stupid jokes now have a new meaning to them.

My first B

Yep, I got my first "B" in a seminary class this last quarter. I hope I don't sound boastfull in saying that. It shouldn't bother me cause grades aren't important, learning is, especially when I don't see any more school in the future for me. I just like having a high GPA for ego purposes, I've got to get over that, so in some ways I'm happy I got a B. For the record I've gotten plenty of A-'s at seminary, so I haven't been a perfect 4.0 student all along.

But just after my ego got crushed by getting a "B" one of my favorite proffesors came and asked me to be a teaching assistant for him in one of his classes he is teaching this quarter. So my head got filled with more air. I don't have time to do it, but just the fact that he asked made me feel good about myself. So, if you know me or live close by me come over and say mean things to me so my head will deflate a little.