Mark Palmer

Mark Palmer passed away last week. He was a church planter in Columbus, one in whom I had a deep respect for. The house he lived in was like a community house where three to four other people besides his family lived in and where their church gathered on a regular basis to be church. Their house is known as 64 King, it got that name from its address . I guess the best thing I can say about Mark is that I hope and have been hoping that when Lucy grows up she will be able to live in 64 King or a house like it. I see her being accepted there, being able to thrive there, being able to serve and be served there, seeing and experiencing the Kingdom there, and learning how to be a disciple there.

All you Landing Place people out there in blog land know that we will continue to hold you all up in prayer and we will stay in touch. Also know that we appreciate so much the love you have for our daughter. Who knows what the future holds, but maybe someday Lucy will join you all down there.

live from Israel

well i've ridden a camel, ate at mcdonalds, been in lots of caves, seen lots of tells, floated in the dead sea, walked on the sea of Galilee... make that rode in a boat on the sea of Galilee, saw the valley of Armegedan, saw an ancient fort that was amazing, prayed at the Western Wall, been on part of the via del a rosa, been to the Mount of Olives, been on Mount Carmel, seen where the Dead Sea scrolls were found, saw a shirt that said Super Jew, and have had a good, but very tiring time so far. Though I miss my wife and daughter terribly right now. If any of you see my wife or daughter tell her I love her and miss her very much.

Ugh!

Why is it that 12 hours after I decide to give up cookies and ice cream for lent the girl scout cookies I ordered over a month ago show up on my door step?

I leave for Israel in 12 days... James, sorry I haven't called you back yet.

House

Our church just looked at a house to buy. We would have a couple live in the upstairs and then use the downstairs for ministry/church/whatever space. It has a huge yard and that excites me. It's a big decision, but I think the church is leaning towards doing it.

Peace

As I sit in my peace class I am struck by how easy it is to hold a Christian pacifist position. It doesn’t cost me a thing. If my country goes to war and I am against the war shouldn’t I be required to somehow actively try to be a peacemaker? Shouldn’t I be required to do more than tell a few friends I’m against the war and occasionally say a prayer for peace? Shouldn’t I possibly join a Christian Peace Making Team and go to Iraq and work for peace in nonviolent ways? Oh hold on a second Kevin, you have a wife, a child, and a church. Yeah, but so do a lot of the soldiers fighting in Iraq? They believe in what they are doing enough that they will give years away from their families to go to Iraq. Do I really believe that nonviolence can bring peace or do I just believe that nonviolence is a fun, cool, and even trendy position to hold?

thoughts

Last week I preached on 1 Cor 7:29-31 which says in part, "those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not...For this world in its present form is passing away. " I said lots of things about this, probably even some pretty good stuff, but not what tugs at my heart when I read that.

I think about Lucy some nights and I cry. I really hurt for her. Yet when I read that passage I'm reminded that downs is only for this life, in heaven all our tears will be wiped away. Some times I think about Lucy and get real excited. I dream about her winning Little Miss Knox County at the Fair, about her lighting up our neighborhood with her smile, and about her dancing and singing on Broadway. Yet I know when I read this passage that even if all that takes place that is not where our hope lies and all that is nothing compared to our inheritance in heaven.

I try to keep this life in perspective. It's tough sometimes.

I might write a book

Today, as I was holding Lucy, a book idea came to my mind. Like an idea for me to write a book. Nothing huge, just a small book of theology for the average person. It would address how one should properly look at down syndrome and other birth defects (I'm not even sure if downs is technically a birth defect), specifically how do we see and understand God in the midst of having a child with downs.

I wouldn't want it to be a "our journey" type of book, though it would doubtless have some of that in there, but a book that really helps people understand God, especially in the midst of having a child with downs. One of the first chapters would be on the fall and how that plays a role in downs, and one of the last would be on heaven and everything being made new.

It won't get started on it tell I'm done with seminary this June, and for that matter it might not ever get started. I just want to tell the world what I think is a correct theology, and a correct theology is a lot better than this pop theology (God only gives angels like her to great parents like you) that sounds good at first, but causes a lot more problems latter on.

Question

Someone in my class said today, "All the beatitudes are impractical." He wasn't saying they aren't what we are supposed to do, just that they are impractical. I'm left wondering... Especially in light of my last post.

by the way I think I'm a pacifist.

Be successful and carry your cross?

We are so pragmatic. We want to do things to be successful. So we do things to help us be successful without much thought to what we should be doing. The cross wasn’t very pragmatic. Why do we do church in such a way that is only geared to being successful. Why can’t we do it in such a way that is geared towards being faithful?

We hear all this stuff about numbers, why not more about the marginalized. We hear all this stuff about numbers, why not more about justice. We hear all this stuff about numbers, why not more about loving your neighbor. If we care about the marginalized, fighting for justice, and loving our neighbor we might find ourselves on a cross and not in a large growing church. Yet we are people of the Resurrection and the gift of Pentecost; I wonder where that leads us?

Almost done...

I walked out of my house tonight to go to my weekend class at Ashland and I'm just tired. I want to go cause it's the class I've looked forward to the most at seminary (history and thought of the Christian Peace Position), but I'm just pooped. I want to be done with seminary, though at the same time I love it. I just keep thinking get through March and life will slow down a bit, well at least in my dream world it will...

Oh by the way, I go to Israel in March for one of my last classes. Ten day study tour with Dr. Byron and a bunch of good friends. Only bad thing is that I have to leave behind Mandy and Lucy. Not sure how I'm gonna handle that one just yet...

Well I went to see the monster trucks and I guess the bes t way you could describe it is to say it is a cross between the county fair (rough truck, demolition derby... kind of stuff) and a clean WWE. My little brother loved it, so it was worth it for me.

I went over to the MVNU gym today to walk with Lucy. I realized yesterday I never got beyond our front porch and that I had to get some exercise. I put Lucy in one of those carrying things that straps her to me and went walking. To be honest I felt a little weird as people probably wondered about me, but I really didn't care in the end. I didn't care so much I bought a chocolate muffin before I left at that little cafe thing they had there. I eat terrible and need to fix something quick. E Stetler you need to come up here and fix me with your healthy ways.

I love my daughter. I'm so proud of her and I find out more and more that I forget about here chromosones. I even catch myself dreaming big dreams for her future just like any parent would for their kid. Their probably a tad bit unrealistic, but then again, aren't most parents? I dream she'll sing and dance on Broadway someday. I thank God for her everyday.

I think God has healed her. Not in that she doesn't have downs anymore or that she won't have any problems associated with it, I just believe God has healed her. I can't even describe what I mean when I say that I just believe God has healed her. Thank you Father! 

Basement

I locked myself in my basement today. I had to take the door off the hinges to get out.

Strange Request

Tomorrow night (Friday 1/6) I'm taking my little brother from Big Brothers/Big Sisters to go see the Monster Trucks at Nationwide Arena. Now I'm not sure if anybody who reads this blog has any connections at Nationwide or in the Monster Truck Circuit, but it anybody does could you pull some strings for me and get us pit passes for tomorrow night? I could really care less about getting close to the big trucks, but I know my little would love it. I know that they have an open pit on Saturday afternoon, but we can't go that day. Any help would be appreciated. Call me 740 392 3197 or email me peterkevinson@yahoo.com with an info or help.

Another thing that confuses me...

It is very easy to idealize ministry in other places. Especially other places where the needs are so much greater (the inner city and Africa for example). We get frustrated with the people around us and want to go where the people really need us and somehow deserve our help unlike these ungreatful sinners all around us in our current location (anybody's current location and I'm not specifically talking about anybody in Mount Vernon).

Well, I read an article in last weeks Newsweek called "The Lessons Tulia Teaches." (December 19th, pg.44) Tulia is a town in Texas that had a big scandal because the local sherriff wrongly arrested 47 African Americans on drug charges and they all went to jail. Luckily people stood up for justice and the people were released from prison. One of the people who stood up for justice was a local pastor and it cost him his job. Listen to what he had to say "'I had always believed the truth shall set you free,' said Bean. 'In the end...it took a misrepresentation of the facts to get these people justice.' By that, he means that in order to fuel the crusade, he and his allies had to make the victims appear more innocent than they were an the town more eveil than it actually is."

I know the people I live with in the West End arefar from innocent. They have done plenty of stuff to get them in the messes they are in. That's why I want to go to Africa or the inner city where it's not there fault and the people deserve help. What I realize is that whever I go (and I don't want to leave Mount Vernon) I'm not going to find people who are innocent, who really deserve my help.

I heard a lot about that guy in California who just got executed. He was made out to be a saint. Even if he wasn't guilty of the specific murders he was charged with, the gang he started was responsible for hundreds, if not thousands of murders. He was far from innocent.

So what's my point in all of this? We are not called to help the innocent, cause there are none. We are called to get involved in people's lives who are messy and really don't deserve our help. We are called to stand up for the guy on death row, not because he is innocent, but because he was made in the image of God and though the image is distorted, we want to see it redeemed. We are called to love our neighbor who is grumpy and hates us, not because he deserves it, but because God loves him as much as he loves us. We are called to get involved in lives that are so completely messy by their own creation, not because they deserve it either, but because that is the way of the Word who became flesh.

When it comes down to it, I'm not innocent and I don't deserve God grace. Who am I to be the one who keeps God's grace from another. We need to stop looking for the innocent or the deserving to help. We just need to help those who need help.

Church

So today in our church service we had 19 people. The fewest amount of people we've had in a long time, but we knew it would be that small with the holidays and such. But everyone there was like family, all committed Christ followers. I didn't care we were so small, instead we adapted and did things that we can't do when we have a large crowd. I felt like we worshiped this morning. I felt like we were who we were suppossed to be as the people of God in the West End of Mount Vernon.

Yet on Sundays when we have lots of people (lots for us is 50-60) and non Christ followers present we do things different. We're not so bold to do things that the people of God do. For enstance today we gathered in a circle with held hands and people prayed as they felt led. If we had visitors there I would have felt reluctant to do some of that or other simular stuff at the risk of making them feel uncomfortable.

So my point in all of this is that I worry that I let visitors, especially the non Christian ones, dictate how we practice being the people of God. It causes me so much confusion because we all have such a strong desire to reach out into the lost world, but in doing that we have this tendency to lose sight of who we are to be as the people of God. Another example: a few weeks ago a neighbor came to church with us and during my "pastoral prayer" I was tempted to not be so radical or bold so I wouldn't make her think we were too radical in our faith. I shook off the temptation and prayed the way I needed to, but still the temptation was there. Reaching out to the world around us in part of what we need to be as the people of God, but it is not supposed to form who we are as the people of God. I'm confused.

Persecuted Church

I'm preaching on the Persecuted Church this Sunday. I got to spend about an hour working on it at the library this morning, but then I had to go home to watch Lucy. When Mandy got to school after I started watching her she called to say her Parent/Teacher conferences were starting an hour later than she thought so I could bring Lucy to her at school and I could spend more time at the library.

So when I made it back to the library I saw a student there who I knew spent the last two summers in an undiscosed country being a missionary. So I went and asked him about the persecuted church in the country he went to and he told me a ton, enough to make you cry on one hand and enough to make you beam with pride for our brothers and sisters in Christ
who are being faithful witnesses in very tough, to say the least, times.

As he was telling me his stories, I heard this guy talking behind me, and I thought that couldn't be Fletcher Tink. I turned around and sure enough it was. He's one of the top guys in the Nazarene church when it comes to Compassionate ministries. I introduced myself and told him what we are going to do Sunday and asked me if he could talk to me about the persecuted church and boy did he ever and I was left with the same impression I got from the student.

I say all of this not to point out how cool it was that God made things work in such a way that I got to hear two first hand accounts of the persecuted church. I say all of that because I think God wants us praying for the persecuted church. God didn't say I think I'll do something really cool for Kevin today, I think He said, "His brothers and sisters are being persecuted and he needs to hear about it so at the very least He can battle with them in prayer." Pray for the persecuted church today in these ways:
1. In the persecution they may hold firm.
2. Pray for the families left behind
3. When leaders are martyred, that Godly leaders will rise in their place.

Traditional church

With all of the talk of how bad the traditional church is (and a lot of it is justified) by a lot of my friends in the blog world I thought I needed to post something.
I went to my district office yesterday to drop some stuff off. When I pulled up the District Superintendents wife saw me and ran outside. She said you go in and take care of business while I sit in the car with Lucy. It was raining and cold and she didn't want me to have to take her out in that weather. She is so kind.
I go inside and my DS was there and he came out of his office to talk to me. He was so encouraging to me and our church. He kept telling me it is going to take all kinds of different churches doing all different kinds of things. He believes in me and our church.
Granted we aren't a radicaly different church than most, we probably look more traditional than I would like to admit at times, but he is encouraging us to be who we need to be, who God is calling us to be.
I like my DS a lot. Mandy and I call him P Dubya (that's short for Pastor Wilson). Sure he sees the church through different lenses than I do, but he allows me to keep using my lenses. On top of that Him and his wife love me and my family.

Some more thoughts

-I'm getting really good at praying out loud during church. I think today's was one of my best. I feel like Jesus words in the Sermon on the Mount about praying out loud were directed towards me. I don't know how to fix it. Maybe pray more in my closet at home would be a start.
-I just read "Blue Like Jazz." Great book!
-My wife and my mom both read "Wild at Heart" and told me to read it, so I read the first three chapters and they asked what I thought and I told them i wanted a beer. I have the same thoughts after reading Blue Like Jazz. I don't drink, never had a beer before, yet these so called Christian books are corupting me. Don't worry, I have no plans to put down a cold one.
-So we had a guest speaker in church today. He asked us to open our Bibles with him and I realized I left mine on stage. I felt like a bad pastor at that moment, but then I looked behind me and saw Joe Noonen didn't have his and I looked in front of me and saw Alex Varughese didn't have his. But this little girl who has only been to church like three times had hers. She gave me a bit of hope today and not just because she had a Bible.
-Our church is having a Halloween outreach that I'm pumped about. These girls moved into our neighborhood for their senior year to be more involved in the neighborhood (cool enough in itself) and they are turning their back yard into the coolest Halloween stop in the neighborhood: smores, dunking for apples, lots of candy, games and other stuff. They are going to be light on a dark night. Though Halloween is already one of my favorite holidays of the year. What other holiday gets the whole neighborhood out of their houses doing something together? I wish we had halloween every month.
-Our church got Mandy and I a gift certificate to the Buxton Inn in Grandville. I love our church. Our church is a little unorganized and weird at times (it takes after me), but I love it so much. I wouldn't trade that group of people for anything.
-Blue Like Jazz has this story about a confessional booth that is so wonderful, that one story is worth the price of the book in my opinion.
-I hope I'm not trying to be trendy.

weird emotions

Well i found out yesterday that the building we were looking at buying for our church sold to someone else. Then I read about a church building a coffee shop and how my friend wasn't very happy about it. Then I read about the earthquake in Pakistan.

It makes me glad we didn't buy the building. But are we doing anything about the people in Pakistan now that we have funds to spare? I'm a little sick to my stomach and at the same time I'm ready to go my warm bed and go to sleep and forget about everything. Guilt is stupid, it just makes you send in a check and then forget all about it. I want a different lifestyle where guilt isn't a factor cause I'm living different. I can't even describe it right now. Cause you know next week there will be a another disaster and another check to write to avoid the guilt, but I want to live differently, to love differently, to already be living with empty pockets. At least I think I do. Guide us Father.

Some sorta random thoughts...

-Screw you down syndrome. You will not steal our joy.
-I read a study yesterday that said 80% of parents who found out their child had downs during their pregnancy had an abortion during the 1990’s at a certain hospital in Boston. That makes me cry.
-I realized this past weekend I won’t be able to beat up everybody who causes Lucy problems in life. For starters I’m nearly a pacifist, but the real reason is that I live in another Kingdom and I have to show that Kingdom to Lucy.
-I’m not really worried that much about what people will do to Lucy, I’m more worried about what they won’t do (i.e. invite her to sleepovers, giver her a chance, be her friend).
-Who is Iron and Wine?
-Lucy’s eyes penetrate my soul.
-I cry the most when I read articles or books that tell the story of parents finding out their child has downs shortly after birth. It just brings back so many emotions.
-Lucy means “bearer of light,” we couldn’t have picked a more perfect name for her.
-Can you believe Mike Redcay got married? I’m so happy for him, I like him so much!
-We live in reality and we are well aware of reality. Yet we live in hope and are full of hope.
-God is good.
-Sometimes I forget that Lucy has downs.
-downs does not define Lucy, nor does it define our family. (yet that seems to be all that I talk about.)
-When I dreams about Lucy’s future I dream that she becomes a dancer.
-Screw you down syndrome. You will not steal our joy.