heartbeats

I went with Mandy to her monthly pregnancy doctor appointment today. When we got there the billing lady called us back to talk to her in her office. To make a long story short she told us that the new doctor in the office wasn’t approved by our insurance company yet, which won’t be a problem for us unless she is on call the day we have Lucy. If she delivers Lucy and she is still not approved by our insurance we get stuck with an out of network doctor bill which could run us hundreds of extra dollars. They told us there is a very good chance she’ll be approved by May and Mandy’s not due until the middle of June. They told us if we didn’t want to risk it we could go to another practice, but the nearest one is 40 minutes away and we couldn’t deliver at our local hospital. I was really mad to say the least. They just told us that’s the way it is and if you don’t like it leave, no working with us at all.

Then we go in for her checkup and I’m still pretty mad. The nurse pulled out the heartbeat finder thing and I realized I forgot we got to hear Lucy’s heartbeat again today. As I started hearing her heartbeat I realized I couldn’t enjoy it because I was still too angry. I realized I couldn’t hang on to my anger if I wanted to enjoy my baby’s heartbeat. I had to let it go. And I did let it go (at least for awhile anyway) and I enjoyed the little thumps of Lucy’s heart. I think I might have learned something today. I hope I learned something today.